Reflecting back on my 2014 goals there were a lot of long term ones in there–so things to keep working toward. IE: paying off my debt (car and student loans) and saving money. National goals like getting a photo in the wedding photojournalist association contest, placing a photo in the PDN top knots contest, getting into The Knot New England, and earning my professional photography masters degree. These will continue on with me into 2015.
New Years is my favorite holiday–I love the idea of a fresh year. I get excited about new goals and fresh starts. Last year (2014) was a particularly hard year–it began with substantial loss and honestly the gravity of the loss is still working its way in and out of my life. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of both my brother and my Dad and not many nights pass where I don’t wish I could call and chat with them. My Dad was my rock–he was my compass–helped me see north when I lost my way and helped me to continue to dream big. Finding my confidence without him to guide my path is like finding your way through a dark cavern with only a match. I guess that leads me to my goals for 2015. I need more light in my life-and by that I mean confidence. Believing in yourself is huge in the world of the self employed especially in an art based world. Believing you are beautiful even with those extra holiday pounds, and just having the faith in yourself that you can do anything you set your mind and heart too.
Finding my way back to God is a big one–its is not that I am mad because of my loss or that I stopped believing–its more that I lost faith and stopped feeling motivated to pray. I prayed every night for my family and how lucky I was that we were all healthy and for all of the wonderful things I had because of my family. Saying prayers now sounds very different–I of course pray for my Adam and my mom and for everyone suffering but its hard to describe what it feels like now without them. I use to pray for people who lost loved ones–and now I am one of those people. It is also different to pray with Adam around–it is not that he isn’t a believer it is that he isn’t a nightly prayers guy. So I have to make a point to stay true to my beliefs and say my prayers. Shouldn’t be an excuse as usually I get into bed before him anyway 🙂 I always pray for my photography community and now of course I pray for Adams family. At night when I pray it is a few minutes in the day to remind myself that I have it pretty darn good and that my sacrifices and stresses are nothing in comparison to so much of the world. I have food, a home, heat, clothes, I am not worried about being killed for speaking my mind, I am free and entitled, I am not blind, I have not lost a limb etc when there are so many people across this world who are hungry, scared everyday for their lives and their families lives, living with blindness etc. It is just good to thank God everyday for all of the amazing things I have and ask that he guide me to be the best person I can be and hope he has a path for me in which I might make a small difference in the world.
I think that is really it in the way of big goals this year. I continue to dream of traveling the world and writing a book someday. I of course have a goal of photographing 35 weddings this year and hope to reach that. I am super excited about the upcoming launch of my refined brand and a brand new web presence. I continue to work to better my brand and client experience–I hope to have many wonderful weddings this year and lifelong friendships. I am a very lucky person to have the profession I do. I hope to continue photographing weddings for many years to come.